Viral Strange
Divorced women share pivotal moments that led them to seek divorce. Recently, Reddit’s TwoXChromosomes asked these divorced women about their deciding factors.
Viral Strange has gathered 13 powerful responses from these divorced women.
1. PhxTransplant1‘s toxic husband
“When he threw all my belongings out of our room into the hallway and destroyed any gifts he had given me over the years. He had done plenty worse before that and I could rationalize those actions, but I couldn’t rationalize that at all.”
2. OkashaSan, one of the divorced women, shares her simple reason for divorce
“When he kept calling me ‘girl.’ I’m a woman, gosh darn it!”
3. lollibut‘s debt and infidelity ordeal
“We were in debt, horribly so… and all of it that wasn’t the mortgage was his credit cards which we’d pay off and then he’d max out again casually on luxuries only he wanted. I was working a really crappy unpleasant job to try to get us to where we had to be financially, but what I really wanted was to quit and have kids. His employment was always an iffy thing, he had good skills but he was irresponsible.”
“And then one day shortly after we paid off the credit cards for the umpteenth time… he came home and was talking about having walked around the local car yards looking at flash new muscle cars. We already had a car, it wasn’t a great one but it worked, and he also had use of a really nice company car through his employment. And then I knew. He was going to buy a car sometime in the next few months, I could just tell, I’d been with him years, knew how his stupidity ran, and I could just tell. And not only would I never have kids with him under conditions of financial security, it would never be him and me together fighting against the world to get financial security, it would always be me fighting his nature to get some crumbs for myself and any future kids.”
“I added it all up and came to the conclusion I’d be happier and more successful alone than if I stayed with him. As in if I had the kids I wanted alone, they’d get better material support and I’d have more happy times than if I had them with him around.”
“At that point, it was only duty and lingering affection that kept me there. I was facing a lifetime of grief and pain. A miserable wife, as yet still unwilling to abandon her commitment.”
“Then he cheated on me. Zing, I was outta there.”
4. Open betrayal in motivation_vacation‘s marriage
“I found out he was having an affair. He wasn’t apologetic at all and seemed to have no remorse or empathy for how deeply he hurt me.”
5. qatmandue‘s lesson on marrying early
“He cheated with a coworker. I flat-out told him that we would go to counseling and work it through. His response was that he wanted his wife AND his GF.”
“Lesson learned: don’t get married when you’re only 20.”
6. megabyte1‘s journey through uncertainty in marriage
“Oh, it was when he finally got around to telling me it was over after months – MONTHS – of “I just don’t know if I want to be married or not anymore, pity me, this is so difficult a time for me right now!” By the time he finally FINALLY said it was over I laughed, told him to get out, and went to see a lawyer two days later.”
7. funchy‘s husband losing interest in her
“He lost interest in anything sexual, physical affection, kissing, complimenting, or some days even noticing me. He refused to get help. He was happy living like my roommate. I wanted more from a spouse.”
“Also over time, I realized I wanted the option to maybe have kids. His answer was never. I didn’t want to intentionally have an “accident” and give a kid a father who never wanted him/her”
8. BlackLeatherRain‘s two shared divorce stories
“First husband: When I realized being with him was making me loathe myself so much that I was becoming suicidal.”
“Second husband: The moment he deliberately ignored me in a corset in my last-ditch effort for quality time and brushed past me to take a shower.”
“Both of these are long and involved relationships and stories. I’m well aware that if I had been a stronger person at the start of both relationships, I’d never have married either of them in the first place.”
9. AudaxOceana‘s long-standing realization
“I’m not sure the exact moment I decided to do it, but I distinctly recall daydreaming during the wedding ceremony: ‘I wonder how long until we’re divorced?’”
10. platkat and her husband drift apart
“We were on the tail-end already at this point, but what sticks out the most is our last trip to Atlantic City. We used to live in Manhattan and would visit AC often. I think we saw each other for a few hours during the entire trip. We used to want to spend every moment we could together and we always had a great time. But by then, even when we were on a nice trip with the deck stacked in our favor (pun intended!), we wanted nothing to do with each other.”
11. DoroteaSenjak‘s said:
“Disclaimer: we were not married, but we’d been together for over eight years and owned a house together.”
“He was mad at me all the f****ing time. I wasn’t perfect, but I wasn’t THAT bad. We were in counseling for six months. More than once, he told me that nothing had improved since we’d started counseling. I thought it had. After a long period of peace, things had recently headed way downhill and our counselor had instructed us to temporarily ignore any issues and focus on having positive interactions with each other.”
“My job requires some travel. He was already p*ssed at me when he dropped me off at the airport. I told him that I would let him know what my schedule was as soon as I found out. Between the flight, a harrowing drive, exhaustion, and nonexistent cell phone reception most of the day, it slipped my mind.”
“The next day, he texted me a long nasty gram saying how upset he was and questioning whether I “even wanted to do this anymore.” He could have sent me a gentle reminder or just asked how I was, but he jumped straight into being angry. He didn’t even know if I was okay. I genuinely felt bad for forgetting, but I knew he wouldn’t give a shit about my explanation. I cried, at work, and realized I was done. He was never going to stop being angry at me and I just couldn’t deal with it anymore.”
12. intransigentpangolin‘s experience with polyamorous relationships
“It wasn’t that my ex and my best pal slept together, it was that after that, he said this:
“I love you more than anything else in the world, and I want Best Pal to join our marriage, to take some of the pressure off you.”
“She couldn’t cook, didn’t clean, couldn’t budget, and hated s*x, so I’m not sure what sort of ‘pressure’ her taking on additional roles would have relieved me of. Plus, there was the whole we’d-never-discussed polyamory before thing; he just wanted his cake at that point”.
“A year or so later, it turned out, she left him for another then-married man and broke his heart. I was well out of it by that time, thank God.”
“All in all, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.”
13. Ennuiwee‘s, one of the divorced women’s emotional and physical infidelity betrayal
“The physical betrayal of cheating was bad, but the emotional betrayal of him saying: ‘As much as I care what you think of me, I care what she thinks of me’ hurt much more.”
“Really? Someone who stood by your side through your parents’ deaths and was actively trying to conceive your kid is equal to a tr*llop you’ve known for 2 months?!?”
Do you think these divorced women took the right decision? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
