Paying on the First Date: New Rules of Modern Etiquette

Discover the latest norms in first-date etiquette. What are the modern rules for paying on the first date? Read more and find out.

Paying on the first date can pose dilemmas like whether to grab the bill or wait for your date. Navigate this situation smoothly by adhering to simple rules to avoid any awkward moments when settling the tab. Let’s read what experts agree on the etiquette of paying for a date:

Who should be paying on the first date? The one who initiates the date.

Paying on the First Date
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When you invite someone on a date, it’s customary to be the one footing the bill for both meals. Conversely, if your date arranged the venue, they likely expect to handle the expenses. It’s a considerate gesture to offer to pay when the bill arrives, even if you don’t intend to.

Your date may insist on covering it, expressing their desire to treat you. If your preference is to cover the entire bill, you can say, “I’ll handle this one, and you can get the next one.” If it feels challenging to accept your date’s generosity, recognize it as their way of expressing care and concern.

Post the initial date, consider splitting expenses.

Paying on the First Date
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In a more serious relationship, alternate paying for outings. Discuss financial dynamics as commitment deepens. Before a date, propose sharing costs with a casual remark like, “I covered the last one, mind handling this?”

Is it an obligation for men to cover all date expenses?

Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Unsplash

In contemporary dating, this isn’t a steadfast rule. The traditional expectation has diminished, as one-sided payment dynamics can breed complications. When a single person consistently foots the bill, resentment may arise. It can create an imbalance and a sense of indebtedness, which isn’t conducive to a thriving relationship.

Is it considered impolite to propose splitting the bill?

Paying on the First Date
Photo by Ayaneshu Bhardwaj on Unsplash

No, suggesting a shared expense, often termed “going Dutch,” is acceptable. Yet, on a first date, particularly if you initiated it, not offering to cover may create a less favorable impression.

When planning the date, select a venue within your budget to treat your companion and make a positive initial impact. If sharing expenses is necessary, feel free to directly discuss it with your date to sidestep any awkwardness in deciding who should foot the bill.

Who would pay in a queer relationship?

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In a queer relationship, the general practice is for the person initiating the date to cover the expenses. Adhering to the “whoever asks” rule is a thoughtful approach. If you selected the venue, consider covering the costs, though splitting the bill is equally acceptable if both parties prefer a shared contribution.

We heard the experts. Now, we want to hear you out. What do you think? Who should be paying on the first date? Let us know in the comments below!

Written by DADADEL

Adelaida, the founder of Dadadel Creative, boasts a multifaceted background, blending expertise in software engineering, copywriting, and digital marketing. Prior to establishing her agency, she honed her skills as the former Head of the News Department at a regional media outlet, and also amassing 18 years of experience as a host. She has a penchant for sarcasm, a passion for lifestyle topics, and an undeniable love for cats.

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