DADADEL
After her irresponsible sister-in-law abandoned three children in their home and disappeared, a woman faces a tough situation. The sister-in-law, with kids from three absent fathers, dumps the responsibility on her brother. Despite the couple’s decision to remain childless, the husband steps up, opting to raise the kids.
Before tying the knot, couples typically ensure they share common values and important life choices. Before marrying her college sweetheart, this woman knew he shared her stance on not having children.
From an early age, the woman was adamant about her desire to remain child-free, and fortunately, her partner shared this sentiment. Despite marrying a few years back, their marriage now faces potential dissolution.
The 29-year-old woman has a sister-in-law who is five years her junior.
This younger sister already has three toddlers with different fathers, none of whom are involved in their lives. “Two months ago, she left all of them at our house, said she was going on an errand, and never came back,” the woman recounted.
Despite filing a report, it was discovered that the sister who abandoned her children to her brother was safe but unwilling to return and take on the responsibilities of motherhood. Regrettably, none of her family members were willing to step in and care for her children. Her mother had previously raised her children on her own and now earns only a minimum wage.
The couple, with nowhere else to turn, reluctantly took in the children, despite the woman’s aversion to motherhood. Her initial reluctance only deepened over the two months that followed.
The cramped one-bedroom apartment forced the children to sleep in the living room, while the woman juggled working from home to care for them due to the unaffordability of daycare.
Responsibility fell predominantly on her shoulders as her husband’s long work hours often kept him away from home, leaving early in the morning and returning late at night.
“He helps with kids after he reaches (around [an] hour or 2). He has off only on Sunday. Where he still [does] not take care of [the] kids himself and needs my help. I tried telling him I need the day to work, but he keeps disturbing me every [five] mins wanting something,” she lamented.
Despite her husband’s consistent need for assistance, the woman realized she would be the one primarily responsible for raising the children. While she respected his selfless decision to take on this role, she found it unfair that he relied on her to fulfill his responsibilities.
The couple engaged in numerous discussions about the situation. While the woman was certain she couldn’t endure the years ahead of child-rearing and financial strain, her husband remained resolute in his desire to support his family.
Financial constraints loomed large over their decision.
The burden of raising three children stretched their resources thin, with added expenses for clothing and food. Reflecting on their predicament, the woman revealed, “CPS did get involved and asked us whether we want to keep the kids or not. I do not. I thought my husband would be on the same page, but he wants to keep the kids.”
The couple deliberated on the issue extensively. While the woman was resolute in her inability to devote her future to child-rearing and its associated expenses, her husband felt a strong commitment to supporting his family. Despite empathizing with his perspective, she recognized her inability to sacrifice her life for the children abandoned by his sister.
Subsequently, the woman initiated divorce proceedings.
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Her decision provoked her husband’s anger, who accused her of abandoning him during his time of need. Nonetheless, she had clearly defined her boundaries years prior and could not embrace parenthood.
Upon seeking advice on Reddit, numerous users empathized with the woman’s plight, acknowledging the complexities of parenthood while also sympathizing with the children’s predicament.
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“I feel so bad for the kids,” one person said. “This is really a tough situation all around. If this isn’t something you can commit to, it’s best to end it now.”
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Some raised the couple’s wedding vows, suggesting she was breaking them. Yet, she clarified they reject the traditional “death do us part” notion. Their vows: no children and staying together until parting was preferable.
What would you do in this case? Would you say ‘NO’ to your spouse? Would you take care of children abandoned by your sister-in-law? Let us know in the comments.
