DADADEL
Why do some unhappy couples remain together, even when their relationship has fallen apart? Marriage is often regarded as the pinnacle of social institutions, uniting two people in a deep emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical bond. When two individuals love each other and commit to marriage, the implications are profound. A failed marriage can strip individuals down to their most vulnerable selves.
We often ask, why do they continue to stay if they’re an unhappy couple? Why don’t they move on and find joy elsewhere?
From the earliest days of human civilization, our need for social interaction has been well understood. As the saying goes, “No man is an island.” Over time, we’ve learned to be selective about those with whom we associate. Philosophers and psychologists largely agree that people choose partners based on a cost-benefit analysis. If the rewards of a relationship outweigh the challenges, the union is considered a happy one.
For instance, a marriage may place significant emotional demands on you—your partner constantly seeks validation and affection, which might make you uncomfortable. Yet, if the companionship brings you more joy than frustration, you choose to stay. When the difficulties in a relationship begin to outweigh its rewards, dissatisfaction often sets in, leading to tension.
Commitment is another critical aspect of relationships. The more satisfaction a person derives from a relationship, the more likely they are to commit. Factors influencing commitment include the time and effort already invested, the absence of acceptable alternatives, and a person’s contentment with the current state of things.
A person’s perception of satisfaction in a relationship depends heavily on how they assess the benefits. Recently, new scientific data has revealed an additional layer to this dynamic. Many couples apply personal standards to evaluate whether their relationship remains worthwhile. Some unhappy couples remain together because, despite minimal benefits, their basic standards are met. Often, those with low standards have endured past traumas, leading them to accept less in a relationship than they otherwise might.
Another explanation for why unhappy couples remain together lies in the interdependence theory. These couples struggle to separate because they fear that being single would be worse than staying in an unhappy relationship. The fear of loneliness drives them to remain in a dysfunctional partnership, preferring an unsatisfying relationship to being alone.
Every relationship is unique, making it difficult to generalize about why some couples stay together. What’s important is that individuals in relationships understand their feelings and motivations honestly and maturely. Trust, communication, and transparency are vital for a healthy, long-lasting romance.
