I’m Emma, 39, married to Tom for 15 years, and stepmom to his 18-year-old daughter, Suzan. Recently, Suzan announced she was pregnant, which was a shock to us. As she starts college, she expects me to care for her baby while she studies. I feel overwhelmed by this expectation since I’ve already sacrificed a lot for our family.
Suzan’s baby’s father lives out of state, offering minimal financial support and occasional visits. I suggested Suzan move in with him, but she refused. When I told Suzan I couldn’t take on the responsibility of raising her child, Tom stunned me by implying: “Well, you know, you either raise Suzan’s baby or prepare for divorce.” This put me in a difficult position, feeling unappreciated and unsupported.
Suzan is now upset and distant. She sought help from her grandparents, but their location was inconvenient for her college plans. My in-laws believe I should step up and support Suzan unconditionally, but I feel I’ve done enough already. The situation has strained my relationship with Tom, and I’m unsure how to move forward.
Balancing my marriage and the unexpected responsibility of raising a newborn that’s not mine is a challenge I never anticipated. How should I handle this complex family dynamic?
