My Stepdaughter Wants Me to Raise Her Baby

My stepdaughter expects me to raise her newborn, leading to tensions in my marriage. How do I balance my needs with family responsibilities?

I’m Emma, 39, married to Tom for 15 years, and stepmom to his 18-year-old daughter, Suzan. Recently, Suzan announced she was pregnant, which was a shock to us. As she starts college, she expects me to care for her baby while she studies. I feel overwhelmed by this expectation since I’ve already sacrificed a lot for our family.


Suzan’s baby’s father lives out of state, offering minimal financial support and occasional visits. I suggested Suzan move in with him, but she refused. When I told Suzan I couldn’t take on the responsibility of raising her child, Tom stunned me by implying: “Well, you know, you either raise Suzan’s baby or prepare for divorce.” This put me in a difficult position, feeling unappreciated and unsupported.

Suzan is now upset and distant. She sought help from her grandparents, but their location was inconvenient for her college plans. My in-laws believe I should step up and support Suzan unconditionally, but I feel I’ve done enough already. The situation has strained my relationship with Tom, and I’m unsure how to move forward.

Balancing my marriage and the unexpected responsibility of raising a newborn that’s not mine is a challenge I never anticipated. How should I handle this complex family dynamic?

Written by DADADEL

Adelaida, the founder of Dadadel Creative, boasts a multifaceted background, blending expertise in software engineering, copywriting, and digital marketing. Prior to establishing her agency, she honed her skills as the former Head of the News Department at a regional media outlet, and also amassing 18 years of experience as a host. She has a penchant for sarcasm, a passion for lifestyle topics, and an undeniable love for cats.

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