DADADEL
Gold digger: a term often associated with individuals who exploit others for financial gain. In this narrative, we delve into the repercussions of a decade-long entanglement with a gold digger wife, revealing the toll it took on one man’s life.
My family warned me I was dating a gold digger and I ignored them. 10 years later…I see they were right.
I (now 35M) met my wife, Annabelle (now 34F), when we were in college. My family was lower middle class and I was hustling to make sure student loans didn’t kill me post-graduation. At first, everything seemed great. She was truly my rock through some really hard times. I struggle with anxiety and depression, as well as imposter syndrome. She had her own struggles too. I thought we fit well.
My parents and sister always told me that while she seemed nice enough, something was off. This only increased when Annabelle dropped out of college and shared her plans to become a housewife/SAHM one day, so “she didn’t need a degree”. Back then, there was no guarantee that I would have a high-paying job but I also didn’t mind her staying home with our future kids.
Then, I got an offer for my dream job. Six figures, company car, travel, the works. They’d also pay for me to obtain my master’s, something that seemed out of reach considering I was drowning in student loan debt. I could finally move out of my parents’ house and get one of my own. I used part of my signing bonus to buy an engagement ring for Annabelle.
Because I began dating her prior to the money, I never imagined that she was with me for anything else. She loved me when I was a broke college student, we had planned our futures back then. How was it different?
My family tried to point out the red flags. Annabelle planned an over-the-top, expensive wedding. She wanted the biggest house she could find. My signing bonus was drained rather quickly and I was worried about not saving enough. I constantly told her to slow down, we don’t need the best of everything. And she would, for a while. Then it’d pick up again.
We had two children together, who are now 8 and 4. The big spending got worse when they came along. But again, I was okay with it. I was making good money, we could afford it. Annabelle grew up in a similar situation as me, so I figured she just wanted to spoil the kids.
Then, I got laid off from my job. It wasn’t out of nowhere. The field I’m in has slowly begun to dwindle over the years. I stayed on as long as I could but at this point, the company is going under. Annabelle was worried when I relayed the news, but I informed her that we had our savings, and we’d be okay until I found work again.
I was hired at a new company in a similar but different field within a month. The catch? I am making significantly less. It’s enough to live off of. We can stay in our house. But, things need to change. I pointed out that our kids can’t go to private school anymore. We can’t take multiple lavish trips a year. No more frivolous spending. She wasn’t happy, but again, I gave her grace. It’s a big adjustment, even for me.
Just 2 months after I started at my new job, Annabelle came to me and said “I don’t think I can do this anymore”. I was taken off guard and we had several discussions, that amounted to her taking the kids to be with her mother while we took “a break”. I already knew our marriage was over, no one can come back from a break unscathed.
Sure enough, a few weeks after she moved out, she told me she wanted a divorce. She claimed we had grown apart. Said I worked too many hours at my last job and I was never around. While it’s true, I did work a lot, I was home every night for dinner. We had all of the weekend together. I traveled often, but she always came with me up until our oldest started elementary school. She never complained about a damn thing. In fact, I once said I was tired from working a long week and I felt guilty that she was home alone with 2 kids. But she assured me she was happy.
I asked her several times if it was about me losing money. She denied it up and down. She “married me so young and needed to see what was out there”. She put it all on me.
Naively, I told myself that this was what happens when you marry your college sweetheart. You grow apart. I didn’t want to believe that my entire marriage had been a lie.
Within 2 weeks of filing for divorce, she was with someone new. The reality came crashing down. She tried to play it off as they just so happened to meet, but they moved fast. She was moving in with him within 3 months. They were engaged before our divorce was even final. This guy is a surgeon. He makes 6 figures a year.
I don’t know if the cheating began when I got laid off or before. I suppose it doesn’t matter. We’re divorced now. Due to my schedule, I only see my kids every weekend and I hate it. I regret not making Annabelle sign a prenup as she got half of everything.
My family is aware that she’s moved on and I know they have their suspicions but we’ve never spoken about it. In the 3 years since the divorce, they have never uttered “I told you so”, even though I deserve it.
I went from loving Annabelle to despising her. I love my children very much, but I hate that I wasted 10 years on a woman who only wanted me for my money. I should have so much more saved, but she either squandered it on useless junk when we were married or took half in the divorce. God, I hate her.
How would your reaction be to a gold digger if she was your wife of 10 years? Let us know in the comments below.
